I’m a big proponent of keeping a “PET Sentence Journal,” a simple practice you can do as a reader to become a better writer.
PET stands for: Persuasive, Emotive, True.
All you have to do is jot down published sentences that move you.
You might already underline in books or highlight in Kindle, but I suggest going a step further to write out sentences you admire in a dedicated journal/document.
I’ll explain how this practice helps deepen your craft with a couple of PET Sentences I pulled from All the Colors of the Dark by Chris Whitaker.
 | "At ten years old he realized that people were born whole, and that the bad things peeled layers from the person you once were, thinning compassion and empathy and the ability to construct a future. At thirteen he knew those layers could sometimes be rebuilt when people loved you. When you loved." |
The first thing I ask myself: why did these sentences strike me?
1. It’s personal. These sentences speak to my personal beliefs.
I (want to) believe that people are born good, that the bad things that happen make them act badly, and that love and human connection is the cure.
That’s my inelegant way of rephrasing the idea. I can also boil it down to cliché: Hurt people hurt people but love heals.
This is to make the point that these are universal ideas that struck me with fresh language within the context of this unique story. (Context is craft! More on this below.)
But here’s the interesting thing about keeping your own PET Sentence Journal:
The sentences you choose don’t have to align with your personal views. In fact, if sentences that strike you tend to challenge or even contradict long-held beliefs—noting that type of pattern in your PET journal can help inform the type of book you want to write.
2. It’s contextual. The sentences struck me as true to the character.
This is the tricky, “craft” analysis of PET sentences. Because dropping in “deep thoughts” (character interiority) out of context will annoy, rather than move, a reader.
So, I have to ask why I “believed” these sentences, especially from the perspective of a ten to thirteen-year boy?
a. Supporting story events
At about 100 pages in, I’ve “seen” (through scene) the difficulties this kid has faced. At the moment of this interiority, he’s at the worst, darkest point of his life.
A character has to earn certain wisdom; authors should be aware of the thoughts/feelings/beliefs a character brings into the story (Emotional Makeup), as opposed to those they earn as a direct result of story events (Character Arc).
b. Point of View
More than perspective, this is not the language and vocabulary of a 10 to 13-year-old. So why does it work for me?
It’s told in a Third Person POV.
Third person, unlike First Person POV, operates on a scale that ranges from Close Third all the way to Omniscent.
Third Person allows for a bit of versatility, some slide on the scale, but the tricky part of a Third Person POV is preventing sentences from sliding too much, or too abruptly.
Both First Person POV and Close Third limit the thoughts, opinions, and vocabulary to that of the chosen character.
But Whitaker has chosen a more distant narrative view, one with a broader perspective on time. This works for the type of sweeping story he’s telling. At the same time, for plot reasons, it's important that the narrator (and therefore the reader) doesn't know everything the characters know, so a true omniscient POV would not work.
The book is broken into two Third-Person Points of View.
All that said, don’t worry about parsing out POV labels, especially if you’re still finishing your draft, or working out your story fundamentals.
This is just an example of the kind of analysis a PET Sentence can provoke - on different levels. Because good writing is focused writing. Focused writing develops as you work, hone story fundamentals, narrative technique, and craft.
A successful sentence of your choosing can spark insight into exactly where you are in the development of your craft and your draft.
Master a step-by-step method to structuring scene shifts in under an hour!
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